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Squirreling away at work tonight, trying to keep things within turn around time limits on two platforms (dictation that needs to be typed and dictation that the speech recognition engine typed that needs to be proofread and corrected) — Not unlike juggling plates on poles.   Could not remember if EMLA cream was all capitals or not, and while I was googling to make sure, I found this which is essentially EMLA cream rebranded and aimed at a specific target market.  When I stopped laughing at the name, I realized that there isn’t an equivalent product targeted at women since obviously women are long inured to Suffering for Beauty, have higher pain thresholds (as is well known), and can pull out large areas of body hair without batting an eye so there is apparently no demand for such a product and, yes, because men are basically big wusses when it comes to bikini waxes — or any kind of waxing, come to that

The cosmetics industry has already convinced women that having hairy legs and armpits is nasty, hair in the “bikini area” is suboptimal and that having hair anywhere except on your scalp, eyebrows and eyelashes is not desirable.  They’ve succeeded in convincing men that nose and ear hair is yucky (finally!), that smooth shaven is best, that beard stubble is OK but you need to buy a special razor to “groom” it, and a hairy back and chest is suboptimal.  Now they’re targeted the “bikini area.”  Somebody must have gotten a huge bonus for coming up with this product name.

*Those whose job it is to invent “needs” in order to sell you products to satisfy them have already convinced women to spend a lot of money on products they didn’t know they needed to ensure that they are as bald as escapees from an Ottoman harem, and now the concept of the metrosexual has been foisted off on men in order to mine a new treasure trove of untapped dollars by convincing men to spend money on products that they didn’t know they needed — and, brilliantly, these are essentially the same products they sell to women, only rebranded and marketed specifically to convince men that using them will get them laid.  

There’s something basically sick about a trillion-dollar industry predicated on making you insecure enough that you will believe there is something wrong with the way you look, but that you can fix it by spending a lot of money buying their products.

O, tempora! O, mores! O, nuts!

 

* The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series of books by Douglas Adams.  If you like Terry Pratchett, you’ll love Douglas Adams.

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