Because my mom has been worried that my dad won’t be ambulatory enough and IH, the assisted living facility (ALF), won’t take him, the game plan of taking him over on Tuesday has been changed. He’s going this Monday morning. He slept through the night Friday night and Saturday night, and he’s gotten a little more mentally alert. He is responding more to us, and not nearly as much to things in his own head, and his responses are context appropriate. Part of it is that my mom has been insisting that he drink more water, as dehydration has been part of the problem. That’s helped. He’s also been eating better the past two days. I went over Friday night and Saturday night to help get him to bed just in case he fell. — He doesn’t actually fall. His legs just give out on him and he crumples to the floor. However, the result is the same. He’s on the floor and it takes two people to get him up. Fortunately, he didn’t fall either night.
I’m going over this morning bright and early at 8 a.m. to help get him up, get him dressed and to his chair for breakfast. Then I will load the stuff that’s going in my car and we will take him out and put him in mother’s car. He’ll go into the ALF in his transport wheelchair as he will never in the world make it up the long wheelchair ramp on his own. Once we get all his stuff inside and get him settled somewhere, I’ll go back to their house and wait for the lift chair guys to come get his lift chair, take it over and get it set up in his room at the ALF. They’ll make sure it’s set up right and is working properly.
While I was over there a couple of hours ago ago (Sunday night; it’s now about half past midnight) and after we had gotten him in bed, mom said that she hadn’t mentioned anything to him during the day about going to the ALF tomorrow. She said, “I just couldn’t do it.” She is still wondering aloud, “I just don’t see how they’ll be able to take care of him.” She has been taking care of him for years now, as he’s slowly but surely declined and required a higher and higher level of care, and she’s just so totally involved in it, that’s all she can think about. In the last month or so, as his “bad spells” became more and more frequent, she’s spent practically every waking moment focused on watching him like a hawk lest he try to get up without help, fall, etc., etc. Right now, she’s just running on nerves. She is about six inches away from being a nervous wreck.
Frankly, she should have done this a month (or two) ago, while he was still fairly lucid most of the time, was still able to follow directions and required less help to get to his feet, but I think she just couldn’t face making a decision until circumstances forced her into it. Now the combined stress of dealing with him and worrying about him, plus not getting good sleep has just worn her to a nubbin. She’s running on nerves right now. (Did I mention she’s a Virgo and is a born worrier?)
We’re in the home stretch. Now, if we can just get through Monday, Monday night and Tuesday.
I’ve been spending so much time at my folks house here lately that when I come home, I get clustered by kitties. After Tuesday, I don’t have anything on my schedule until Sunday the 21st, which is my mom’s birthday party, and my yearly checkup at the VA on Monday.
The weather has been rainy and cool for the past week or so and is forecast to remain so at least until Friday. We’ve really needed the moisture and having the cooler weather has been a refreshing change. Fall is upon us, I’m afraid. The equinox is week after next.
Now that Dad’s going into care, I’m going to start looking for a medical transcription job. I talked with the benefits counselor, and as long as I don’t make over $15,000 a year, I can work full time without impacting my retirement benefits, which is good. A full time position is easier to find than a part time one. Seeing as how the Crayola turned 27 this past May, it would behoove me to start a new car fund.